批改作文(主题:向政府建议解决交通拥挤的对策)

老师:您好!

以下是我写的一篇作文,烦请批阅。谢谢。

S城的交通拥挤现象日趋严重,事故时有发生,特别是在早晚上、下班高峰期。市政府决定采取措施改善交通现状,向广大市民征集建议。请根据下面的要点向市政府提出建议。

(1) 修缮公路,改善路面状况;

(2) 修筑立交桥,缓解交通阻塞现象;

(3) 控制小轿车的产量。

As we know all know that the traffic problems in our city is more and more serious.During the rush hours every morning and afternoon, the roads are very crowded. There are traffic jams almost on the main roads. The accident rate is higher than before. I think that it is high time for the city government to take steps to solve the problem.

First of all, we should repair the roads, especially for the the roads are in bad condition, which are difficult for the drivers to go through.

Secondly, we should repair and build more overpasses in order to cut down the traffic jams.

Thirdly, the production of cars should be controlled, for there are too many cars moving on the roads every day.

I believe that it would be solved or at least reduced traffic accidents as long as we can do things like these.

I hpe that the government could accept my advices.

请先 登录 后评论

最佳答案 2016-03-23 21:33

下面修改后的文章,画线部分的句子有所改动,请对照着看:

As we all know that the traffic problem in our city is more and more serious. During the rush hours every morning and afternoon, the roads are very crowded. There are traffic jams almost on all the main roads. The accident rate is higher than before. I think that it is high time for the city government to take steps to solve the problem.

First of all, we should repair the roads, especially those in bad condition, which are difficult for the drivers to drive on.

Secondly, we should build more overpasses in order to cut down the traffic jams.

Thirdly, the production of cars should be controlled, for there are too many cars moving on the roads every day.

I believe that it would be solved or at least reduced traffic accidents as long as we can do things like these.

I hope that the government could accept my advice.

请先 登录 后评论

其它 1 个回答

王钊

以下是我的看法,请大家指正:

During the rush hours of every morning and evening, the roads are very congested

I think that it is high time for the city government to take steps to solve these problems.

I hope that the government could accept and carry out these advices/suggestions.

我觉得总体上写的不错,条理清晰,语句通顺,但是可以在“建议”方面写得长一点,还要注意语气。

请先 登录 后评论
  • 1 关注
  • 1 收藏,3659 浏览
  • speed_eriko 提出于 2015-09-27 23:11

相似问题