问题一：句中的 when I heard 不能省略主语 I。原则上说，从句的主语是不能单独省略的——尽管汉语中经常省略这样的主语（如说“当听到……”），但下面这样的省略不属于此类情况（因为它省略的是主语和后面的动词 be）：

He fell asleep while (he was) doing his homework. 他做着做着功课就睡着了。

I have tried to keep your advice in mind when (I was) writing the book. 写这本书时我设法记住你的劝告。

When (he was) asked who he was, he replied that he was the mayor. 当问到他是谁时，他说他是市长。

Although (it was) built before the war, the engine is still in perfect order. 尽管是战前制造的，这台发动机仍然处于良好状态。

问题二：这里的 to here 用得不对。here 前面不可以用介词 to，所以类似下面这样的用法都是错的：

Come to here.（误）

Go to there.（误）

Pay a visit to here.（误）

但有一个例外，就是用于 from…to…时。如：from here to there, from there to here。

顺便说一句，除介词 to 外，其他的某些介词（如 from, in, except 等）可以与 here 连用。如：

We have got to get a surgeon in here. 我们这里一定得有一个外科医生。

The post office is down the street from here. 沿这条路往前走，就是邮局。

I looked everywhere except here. 除了这儿，我到处都看过了。

问题三：如果 I 期盼到来的人还没到，就你的句子上下文来看，最好用you would，而不是 you will，这主要是为了照顾前后的时态一致性。

你说的类似句子也最好改用前后相关的时态：

The news that he will come really made me happy.

最好改为：The news that he would come really made me happy.

The news that he would come really makes me happy.

最好改为：The news that he will come really makes me happy.