And there was heat, a strange moist heat at his temple that seared through the freezing water that kept swallowing him, a fire where no fire should burn.

这里的 that kept swallowing him 和 where no fire should burn 应该都是修饰 the freezing water 的吧。a fire 是 sear 的宾语。

那么作者为什么把这个句子写得这么别扭？

And there was heat, a strange moist heat at his temple that seared a fire through the freezing water that kept swallowing him, where no fire should burn.

这样写对不对？