总体不错,但我看你的翻译有如下问题:
1.原文的“我们”在本句的翻译中不宜省略,如可改为It is our honour... 或We are honoured 等,因为本句主要表述的是“我们”的感受。如果这里省略了“我们”,honour会出现指代不明。实际上,it is quite an honor 多用于演讲词, 用在这里过于正式,和本句语境不太协调。另外,be lucky to经常和have the luxury of 这个词组搭配使用,所以改为We are also very lucky to have the luxury of...即可,也正和原文相对应。
2.by artists 用在这里不准确,artists 前要用限定词。另一处as the artists wish, 如果用的话也要改为as they wish, 在同一句中,尽量不要重复artists.
请参考我改译后的句子:
We are also very lucky to have the luxury of being able to observe some artists making large sand sculptures on a relatively flat dune and marvel at the dynamics of sand flowingin the skillful hands of these versatile craftsmen, which has literally taken our breath away!