整篇文章我看了，语法上面基本上没有错误，条理比较清晰，课本学的还是可以的，单词词组应用的比较灵活。不过倒数第二段强调书写这个肯定是偏题了，毕竟是要写英语写作方面的事情，这个不是。

最大的问题是中式英语，为什么这么说呢？你写的内容在我边读边知道你要说什么，会用哪个中文表达。这个怎么改进呢，下面是我就你们这个要求写的一篇文章，给了对应的中文翻译，你可以借鉴一下。

Writing in English

English, the most widely spoken language in the world, finds its way into our life one way or another and with a little attention, we notice that everybody around us seems to know a thing or two when it comes to English speaking. After all, as long as one can make himself understood in English, he will be qualified as an English speaker. However, with English writing, it is a whole different case because it requires a lot more than just being understandable. We have to be readable as well. And to get it done( = to achieve this), we need to follow the steps below.

英语作为世界上使用最广泛的语言与我们的生活息息相关。稍加注意，我们就会发现好像周围的每个人都多多少少会说几句英语。毕竟，只要说的英语能让别人听懂，也就算得上是个会说英语的。 但是，英语写作可就全不是这么回事了。能让人理解那是最基本的要求，写出来的东西还得要有可读性。要想达到这种要求，就需要遵循以下步骤。

First, increase your vocabulary. Vocabulary to writing is as important as bricks to buildings. Without it, there will be no writing at all.

首先，扩大词汇量。词汇量对于写作的重要性就像砖块对于楼房一样，没砖怎么盖房，同样，没有词汇量，写作根本无从谈起。

Second, be grammatically correct. Grammar put words in the right place where they belong just like the way cement works with bricks.

其次，保证语法正确。有了水泥砖块才能摞起来，同理，只有在语法的帮助下，单词才能正确地粘合到一起组成句子。

Last but not the least, try to be as native as possible. This is absolutely not easy to be done, considering we are from a completely different culture. However, it will happen if we work in the right direction, which is exactly what i’ve been doing since the first two steps stopped being a challenge to me. I watch English TV shows, read articles written by native speakers and try to imitate their way of speaking, writing and most importantly, their way of thinking. And it has indeed paid off. Otherwise, i wouldn’t be here giving you advice on English writing. Am i right?

最后一点，尽量语言本土化。这点肯定不是那么容易做到的，毕竟我们来自完全不同的文化。但是只要朝着正确的方向努力，还是可以实现的。在我发现前两个步骤已经没有挑战性了后，我就开始通过看美剧，英语母语的人写的文章来模仿他们的说话，写作，最重要的是他们的思维方式。这么做也确实起到了效果。不然的话，我也就不会在这给你提英语写作方面的建议了，对吧？