5 英文写作错误修改

请老师帮忙修改英文短文写作中的语法错误,谢谢!

According to the rehabilitation treatment theory of hemiplegia, the current research situation of rehabilitation robot at home and abroad is analyzed, and the overall requirements are put forward from the aspects of rehabilitation training function, control strategy and safety. According to the existing defects of the rehabilitation robot, a new type of rehabilitative robot for the upper limb is designed. The main work includes the following aspects:

这个是中文:

根据偏瘫的康复治疗理论,分析了国内外康复机器人研究现状,从康复训练功能、控制策略、安全性等几个角度提出总体要求。根据目前康复机器人存在的缺陷,设计了一种新型上肢康复机器人,主要工作包括如下方面:


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最佳答案 2018-03-07 16:53

According to the rehabilitation treatment theory of hemiplegia, the current research situation of rehabilitation robot at home and abroad is analyzed, and the overall requirements are put forward from the aspects of rehabilitation training function, control strategy and safety. According to the existing defects of the rehabilitation robot, a new type of rehabilitative robot for the upper limb is designed. The main work includes the following aspects:

这个是中文:

根据偏瘫的康复治疗理论,分析了国内外康复机器人研究现状,从康复训练功能、控制策略、安全性等几个角度提出总体要求。根据目前康复机器人存在的缺陷,设计了一种新型上肢康复机器人,主要工作包括如下方面

首先,这段文字应该是一篇论文的摘要,属于正式语体。科技论文为了突出客观性,多采用被动结构,避免使用I, we这样给人主观印象的词语。但近年来这方面有了一些变化,认为过多的被动结构是句子显得冗长或头重脚轻,因此,越来越多的科技论文采用主动结构。原译文存在的主要问题有:

1 过多的重复rehabilitation robot, 应该适当使用替代,避免重复;

2 分析国内外研究现状时不需要根据康复理论,而提出总体要求时则需要根据某种理论。因此,句子开头的根据...不符合逻辑,according to这个状语不能修饰analyse, 而应修饰put forward;

3 中文根据...的缺陷,设计了..., 其中的逻辑不能用according to翻译。according to的本意是和...一致。设计不可能和缺陷一致!这是因果关系:鉴于/由于现有的机器人存在缺陷,因此我们设计了...。因此,这里用according to为逻辑错误。

4 最后一句中的主要工作包括如下方面,表意不清。究竟是新机器人的功能如下,还是我们在设计新机器人的过程中作了如下工作?我个人理解为前者,因此应该避免歧义。

5 论文的本分内容就是对现状的分析,因此,analyze用一般现在时,而不用现在完成时。同理,提出总体要求也是在论文中提出,还是应该用一般现在时,而不是现在完成时。但新机器人的设计则是在写论文之前做的事情,不能再用一般现在时,而应该用现在完成时态。

综合以上五点,我对译文修改如下:

Based on the analysis of the researches on rehabilitation robots both at home and abroad, the paper puts forward the overall requirements for the training function, control strategy and safety of the robot according to the theory on the rehabilitation of hemiparalysis. 

In view of  the defects of the existing robots, we have designed a new model for the rehabilitation of upper limbs, the features of which are as follows.

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其它 1 个回答

陈才   - 英语教师
擅长:中考英语,词法问题

According to the rehabilitation treatment theory of hemiplegia, the current research situation of rehabilitation robot at home and abroad is analyzed, and the overall requirements are put forward from the aspects of rehabilitation training function, control strategy and safety. According to the existing defects of the rehabilitation robot, a new type of rehabilitative robot for the upper limb is designed. The main work includes the following aspects:

这个是中文:

根据偏瘫的康复治疗理论,分析了国内外康复机器人研究现状,从康复训练功能、控制策略、安全性等几个角度提出总体要求。根据目前康复机器人存在的缺陷,设计了一种新型上肢康复机器人,主要工作包括如下方面:

修改译文如下:仅供参考

The Revised translation is as follow:(only for reference)

Referring to the current analysis and study situation of the rehabilitation robot at home and abroad ,the thesis has brought forward/put forward general/overall requirements concerning the aspects of the rehabilitation training function , control strategy and safety properies of the robots on the basis of the theory on the rehabilitation of hemiplegia/hemiplegy . Considering/Because of the existing defects of /with the present rehabilitation robots, we have designed/developed a new type of robot for the rehabilitation of the upper limb ,whose functions are as follows :

修改中文如下:仅供参考

The Revised Chinese is as follow:(only for reference)

参考于国内外康复机器人的当前分析和研究现状,该论文依据偏瘫的康复理论对有关康复训练功能、控制策略、安全性能等几个方面提出总体要求.鉴于/考虑到目前康复机器人存在的缺陷,我们设计/研发了一种新型上肢康复机器人,其主要工作包括如下方:



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  • mituihisashi 提出于 2018-01-15 20:36

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