He refuses to spend time with us or do as we tell him.

请问这里we tell him 后为什么把 to do 都省略了？

回答如下：

AS引导方式状语从句，如果从句含义不定式的复合宾语，是可以把不定式省略的

She stayed in bed as the doctor had told her.

她依照医生吩咐卧床休息。

如果改为What 句子就不是方式状语从句了，就是宾语从句了

He refuses to spend time with us or do what we tell him (宾语从句）

He refuses to spend time with us or do as we tell him (方式状语从句）